God is in Control.

(aka: "Saliva, Sickess, and Spiritual Warfare" But we thought that "God is in control" sounded a little more spiritual! anyways!)

I can say it a million times and it is still just as true every time I say it, but I LOVE waking up to the sound of babies in the morning :) Laughing, talking, crying…all of it. And this morning was no different. Only this being the morning after getting back from the hospital, I was still pretty weak and hadn’t gotten out of bed yet – and they had already had their baths and gotten dressed! I felt so lazy! Granted it was the first morning back since our whole hospital episode, but the sound of their little voices out there without me was driving me crazy. So I walked out the door and down the hallway – and 3 little ones rushed me :) I just love it when they come running up and grab my legs, and then stare up at me with big grins on their faces. And they always seem to be happy in the morning – they’re not at all tired yet!
So, I played with them for a little while and then the volunteer group was coming – Damali was coming with a group from a church (Grand View) and they were going to stay all day and play with the babies and paint, and cement the garage. (or so we thought.) So, Damali and Betty were making me, Leah, and Mark take the day off. We were heading into Jinja for hopefully a relaxing time. We took a while to leave because of various setbacks, but we finally hit the road. I must admit, I was not very happy about having to leave – I have been gone forever! And I didn’t really want to spend the day hanging out in Jinja – especially while I still felt sick. But I had a ton of people, both in Uganda and the States, telling us to take a break, so off we went.
We first headed to Flavours, a very “Americanized” restaurant that had good internet service. Leah and Mark were pretty excited to have the day off and get to see some of Jinja and after realizing that they hadn’t seen any of this town that I like so much, I got kind of excited about showing them around. We ordered breakfast which included french toast, American pancakes and I ordered Ugandan pancakes with bananas cinnamon – which is SO good (along with some mocha type drinks and fruit juice!). We sat in the shade there, ate and talked, and checked email – and made out our lists for the day. Then we headed off to see the town of Jinja :)
I must admit, it was great showing Leah and Mark the town, but I did have to send Jessie a text during the day – it was so weird being there without her. I kept going to all the places that we had been together for the first time and memories just kept flooding back. Since Sonrise is in a new house from when we was here this summer, it hasn’t been as hard as I believe it would have been, but Jinja hasn’t changed any and I thought about Jessie all day. :)
But Mark and Lan seemed to really be enjoying it and we started out going into a lot of the tourist shops and exploring the “Ugandan/African” items. I won’t give away anything, but let’s just say that they DID enjoy doing a little shopping :)
OH! But before we went shopping, we had to go exchange some money for Mark and Leah, so we decided to walk. Hindsight is always 20/20, and yeah – might should have taken a boda :) BUT we did get to actually WALK the streets of Jinja which I always enjoy, but it was long and Mark and I were not feeling very well after eating. Food is still not agreeing with us at all, and we were feeling it then. But we made it to the bank and got them some money to go shopping with. Then we headed over to the safari people that put together our trip when I sent this summer – left info and got info and they said they’d get back with us. ( and I think we decided to go with another agency and a different safari guide, but we’ll let you know more on that later!). So – we then walked BACK to Flavours and I was really not feeling well by now. We got some more water and then I noticed Leah looked to be getting some sun. When we sat down in the restaurant – yep – she was sunburned! Uhh…pretty red. But she said it didn’t hurt and she says that it still doesn’t - it just doesn’t look very good! Oh, well :)
Chilled in town for a little while longer, then Mark got hungry. I suggested a pizza place that I grew to love while here called Baraza. It was nice to go back to a restaurant and remember the “good stuff” and get it for Mark and Lan. So we ordered 2 pizzas to split…and ordered grape sodas as well. By the time we got to the restaurant, we were all very thirsty, so we kind of guzzled down our sodas, and then Mark ate the first piece of pizza and got sick. He said immediately that it was the soda – either way, I bet you can’t guess what I did???!!?!? Yep, LAUGHED! :) Seems to be my way of stress relief! I just laughed again, and laid my head down on the table. Mark felt 100% fine, we just couldn’t believe this – again! AHHH!!!! We just can’t seem to shake sickness! Needless to say, Mark cracked some joke about anyone still wanting to eat, so I just got up, went and got the waiter lady, got to-go boxes, paid her and I gave her a good tip for having to clean up! I called Richard and told him to come get us ASAP! We were all so tired!
So, the day off was nice, but not being up to par definitely put a damper on it, but it was nice to have a break and let Mark and Lan see Jinja.
We got back to Sonrise and played with the babies for a little while, then decided we should take them on a walk. The evening was beautiful and we couldn’t just stay inside. We put the babies’ shoes on and headed outside. I was lagging behind helping Fred and Edrin get their shoes on which always takes a little bit longer. I heard the babies yelling outside and the dog barking – that was when I had had enough of the dog. Richard had gotten up to head outside and I grabbed him and told him I wanted the dog gone by in the morning. The dog has bee scaring the babies ever since we got it and we were all too annoyed with having the babies crying every time they saw the dog. Then, we continued on outside and I rounded the corner and Leah is hunched over holding Trust, Damali is yelling for us to come, and all the other babies and Brenda are just standing there – most of the babies crying. Leah was in tears and Damali was saying that Trust hadn’t been breathing. I ran over and took Trust from Leah. He was coughing terribly and convulsing – trying to throw up, but just spitting up. He was coughing so badly he couldn’t stand up, so I just held him in front of me between my legs. I started asking what in the world had happened, and I was yelling at Brenda and Leah to take the other babies away and continue on their walk - all the while holding Trust, praying to God that he would be ok. Leah yelled back that she had seen him at the side of the house, but no one had found anything that they thought he had put in his mouth.
I knew he had eaten something. It was the ONLY explanation for the way he was acting. After he stopped breathing, Leah had done the Heimlich on him after he had stopped breathing, but now he was just coughing profusely and wouldn’t stop. I told Richard to go get me some water and I tried to get Trust to drink that to maybe make him throw up with his coughing. I thought about sticking my finger dow his throat to make him throw up, but knew he didn’t have anything in him, so I knew I had to try to get him to drink something! Richard, Damali and this other guy, Tevin didn’t have a clue what had happened to him, or what he could have eaten. At this point, I just wanted to make him really throw up whatever it was. I had been looking around frantically for whatever it was, but couldn’t find anything, Tevin (a friend of everyone here) said that sometimes kids can choke on their own saliva – and that was probably what it was.
I WAS LIVID. And if he told me this during this episode once, he told me two hundred times. I was so mad at him and Richard by the end of this – let’s just say I’m glad God didn’t strike me down.
Well, I finally decided I was going to have to force Trust to drink some milk to try to get him to throw up. So, I picked him up and headed to the back of the house, al the while still searching for what he could have eaten – then as I’m heading around the corner, Brenda yelled from the front of the house that she saw him with the water bottle that was lying on the ground - I saw the water bottle, kicked it, and told Tevin to hand it to me. I put it to my nose. – and it smelled exactly like gasoline. GASOLINE.
So, I handed the bottle to Richard and he smelled it – and Damali went and grabbed the milk. We were trying to force him to drink some, but then I just said to take him to the clinic. He was breathing much better by now, still coughing, but able to stand up a little by himself. Damali and Richard got into the car to take him – I so wanted to go, but knew I needed to stay.
By this time, Leah and Brenda had decided not to take the babies for a walk. So, aftr putting Trust into the car, I turned around and saw Leah sitting with the babies on the edge of the house. She had her head down and was just crying. I still hadn’t cried one tear during this whole time, and still couldn’t break down. It was then that I started shaking and the weight of everything began to hit me. I was still so upset and mad that this had even happened to my poor little baby, and for someone’s foolishness in leaving Kerosene/mineral spirit mixtures in a water bottle just was beyond me. Yeah, that the porr baby innocently picked up a water bottle with clear liquid in it and drink it – not having a clue that it would hurt him – I was still reeling from it.
I walked over and sat down next to Lan. She started crying even worse once I sat down. All she could say then was, “He wasn’t breathing.”
Even at that time, since I got outside late – it hadn’t hit me how badly he seemed to be hurt. It scared her so much, and the more I thought about it, the more it scared me thinking about how bad it could have been. I rubbed Lan’s back and hugged her – then knew I just had to walk it off. Fred came up to sit in my lap and I picked him up and headed to the edge of the house where Trust had been. I walked down, picked up another water bottle that was still there – and threw it against the wall. Then I lost it.
I just started weeping, and crying out to God. I just didn’t know how I could do it. WHY as I put in this position? Why did He have me here? Why was He asking all this of me? I just told Him I didn’t know if I could take much more. I told Him to please not take a baby from me. I told Him I just didn’t think I could handle it. I said, touch me, Lan, Mark, the babies bodies, but please just spare their lives. I was desperate. Me, Leah, and Mark have been talking (along with our parents and others) about how all that has happened since we have been here just seems like Satanic attack – this is definitely spiritual warfare. Even staying up all night with a crying one week old preemie has put life in so much perspective. This is not easy, and it’s not something to be taken lightly. When children’s lives are placed into your hands – a new kind of pressure and urgency comes into your life like I never knew existed.
I picked up Fred again, after sitting down and weeping to God, and held onto Fred so tightly it almost scared ME. Not being able to hold Trust and feel that he was ok was so hard – but just holding Fred and being able to pray for Trust, the doctor’s – all the babies…it helped. I just sat there and held him and rocked him for what seemed like forever.
Then, I knew I needed to go talk to Lan – so I headed back to where she still was with the babies, and we both cried together. We talked, prayed and cried –and in the end, knew that yes, God was still in control. And Trusty was in His hands.
Now, I’m going to let Lan tell her side of the story…bear with us if there are overlaps, but this was most definitely a defining moment of the trip so far…
Leah here…I’ll try to keep mine brief since Amy has filled in a lot of the details in between. As Amy said, we returned from Jinja and almost immediately got the kids ready to take them on a walk which, I might add, is never a quick process as everyone scrambles to find shoes that fit and match! We had to leave out the back door since the painters had been there today painting the front porch railings. Amy ran back inside to grab the camera, so I was bringing up the rear of the group. As we came along the side of the house I saw Trust investigating a pile of bricks and other items that were left behind from the volunteers. I told him to come along so we could go on a walk and kept on moving. Right before I rounded the corner to head to the gate, I looked back one more time and saw Trust standing still with his mouth open, tears coming down his face, and no noise. I immediately knew something was wrong. I dropped whoever I was carrying at the time and rushed over to him. At first it seemed that he was crying so hard about something and just couldn’t catch his breath. After a few seconds I knew that couldn’t be the case and it was then I realized the truth – he was choking on something and wasn’t breathing! All of my CPR/First Aid training came rushing to me as I grabbed him and started beating his back. Then I started to do the Heimlich Maneuver with all of my might willing whatever was stuck in his throat to come out. After a few seconds of this, I picked him up and ran around the corner to where Brenda and Damali were waiting for us and started yelling for help because Trust wasn’t breathing. Damali rushed over and started hitting his back and doing the Heimlich as well. She started calling Richard’s name several times. After I did the Heimlich a few more times, I heard him start coughing forcefully so I beat his back a few more times. He was coughing uncontrollably and spitting up whatever was in his mouth. At this point Amy and Richard rounded the corner so I let her take over. Brenda and I started dragging the babies away to go on a walk although I was so shaken up that I really didn’t want to go. However, I knew we needed to get them out of the way so we headed anyway. I think it was at this time that I realized what had happened. Throughout the whole process, adrenaline was pumping so I didn’t have time to think about it. After the fact, it hit me what exactly had happened or what could have happened if I hadn’t looked back that last time and seen him standing there. I started crying, but didn’t want to lose it in front of the children because they were already giving me concerned looks. I tried to be brave for their sakes. I wasn’t sure what Trust had gotten into and could hear Amy asking what had happened, so I yelled back that he had been on the side of the house when I found him. We got halfway out of the gate and decided that we just weren’t in the mood for a walk. We dragged the kids back inside the gate, much to their dismay. They just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t go for the evening walk. I was still crying, so went over to the edge of the house and collapsed into sobs. Fred and Catherine kept looking at me wondering what was wrong. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. The true reality of what had happened settled over me and I could’t bear the thought of it happening again to any of the other precious babies. I kept praising the Lord that I was there and knew what to do. Trust went to the clinic and thankfully Amy stayed, although I would have understood her need to go. We both cried together and prayed the whole time. I think it hit us that we were under spiritual attack. Our first week at Sonrise has been filled with too many “accidents” such as our sickness for it to be anything else. I joked that we must have saved the next Billy Graham because Satan was trying to stop whatever we were doing. To me it isn’t much to hold a child who is crying or show love to an orphan. However, it’s the Lord’s work so it’s a threat to Satan’s plans. The Lord brought to mind the verse in 1 John 4:4 - You are of God, little children, and have overcome them, because He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.